Peppers Only

I was dreading the whole Indian event, like most of them. The only white guy in a hall of Gujurati speaking folks where food that set my digestive system on edge for a week was served and you had to eat 'cause the damned event last 6 or more hours. Sure, I occasionally slip out for a ber and burger at some events, but mots of them are at reasonably-priced halls in the middle of nowhere Connecticut. And this event was at one of those reasonably priced halls, a school gym, and I was doomed to bear the entire event and the excruciating food.

But God loves a fool and especially a patient fool. Many hours after the lame event began, it finally ended and it was announced that PIZZA was to be served to all in the adjacent cafeteria. Bear in mind that the pizza would be nothing like western pizza, designed instead to burn white throats and tear holes in western stomachs. But it was a step in my direction. It was at least familiar. And so imagine my delight when I arrived in the cafeteria to discover 50 pepperoni pizzas.. and dozens of devastated vegetarian hindu organizers. I was as thrilled as they were distraught.

I recall munching down on a slice as a woman asked the organizer assigned the task of ordering the pizza what had happened.

"What happened?" the woman asked with a heavy and barely recognizable accent.

"I don't know." the middle aged heavily accented male organizer responded and continued, "I said Pepper only!", heavy accent on the "O" in only.

Life is good. The wife and I went home with several large pepperonly pizzas.